4 A’s – Spartathlon 2023

Die 4 A:

ACCEPTANCE, ANALYSIS,
TICK IT DOWN, GET UP

There are no linear stories, not in everyday life and not even when running. And there are
Hardly anyone who actually stays injury-free over the course of a career. But after every low there comes a high. Especially if you follow the rule of “four A’s”.

 

My story took an extreme downturn on that October 1, 2023 in Ancient Nemea. Maybe I've been working towards this curve all year, but whatever: Spartathlon! Race of the year! Third start, which was also supposed to be my last - that's what I had planned before the run. This time my performance had to be perfect, I wanted to run the race the way I wanted to run it the year before. The signs are good. This time the last few months before the competition went perfectly. The preparation was excellent, I was at the peak of my performance. Felt ready to run a really fabulous time. Why not? I know what I'm capable of, I know and love the route, I believe in myself and my strengths, I have the best team with me and my daughter Julia is also accompanying me this time. I feel focused and invincible – invincible to myself. Sure, I still know that ultrarunning is actually playing with fire. But I love and respect this game. I'm in great shape, and when that's the case, the race is in my head. And the head has always been my joker.

SATURDAY, 30th September

6AM in Greece, Akropolis

Mit Tränen in den Augen laufe ich im Mittelfeld los, genauso wie das erste und zweite Mal. Die meisten Teilnehmer*innen beginnen diese Herausforderung mit Tränen in den Augen und die meisten beenden sie auch so – egal ob im Ziel oder nicht. Ich bin keine Ausnahme. 120 km lang laufe ich das Rennen meines Lebens, lauftechnisch, zeitmäßig ganz nach Plan, wie nach einem perfekt geschriebenen Drehbuch. Das Wetter ist optimal – viel von meiner Medivid-Kühlflüssigkeit und meinen Feda Trading-Kühltüchern bräuchte ich nicht, ein paar Stunden nur hat sich die Hitze bemerkbar gemacht. Die Jahre davor habe ich diese Hilfsmittel ständig benutzt, sie waren meine beste „Geheimwaffe“ in einer Hitzeschlacht. Die Konkurrentinnen liegen zwar alle vor mir, doch das bringt mich nicht aus dem Gleichgewicht. Ich laufe mein Tempo, die Pace liegt konstant bei 5:00 min/km. Und ich fühle mich von meinem Team und meiner Tochter bezaubert und bestens ­unterstützt. Laufen macht wieder Spaß, zum richtigen Zeitpunkt, nach langen intensiven Vorbereitungsmonaten, während denen ich die Leidenschaft für das Laufen nicht so richtig spürte. Das kennen wir alle. Und wir wissen auch alle, dass es wieder vergeht.

Saturday noon, about 4PM, just before Ancient Nemea

So 120 wonderful kilometers. And then comes the step that changes everything. Suddenly I can no longer place my left foot on the ground. My eyes get big, my head gets hot, and it's not from the heat. From now on I know that “something has gone wrong”. I feel stabbing pain in my fibula. Every step becomes torture. I slow down, but that doesn't help. Someone overtake me and give me a few words of motivation. I'm going even slower. I'm limping. It's still around 1,500 meters to the next checkpoint, a photographer is waiting in front of Nemea, he sees me crying and I tell him: "It's over." I reach my team, crying and panicking. Nobody has any idea what's going on. I, on the other hand, feel completely lost as I was not ready for this situation. The fact that it was a broken fibula was only diagnosed two weeks after the Spartathlon.

Sunday night about 1PM in Nestani
IN NESTANI

I only finished the race in Nestani at km 171, 50 kilometers after my collapse. I carry on because I'm stubborn, because I trusted the local therapists who tell me that my injury can't get any worse, because I want to cross the Sangas Pass one last time and experience the magical night. As I cross the Sangas Pass, I know I have reached my goal in my third Spartathlon - I have experienced what I consider to be the ultimate race and have had the best time of my running life.

  If we face a difficult task with a lot of passion, if we concentrate on the process and immerse ourselves in it, then the result will also be satisfactory. This may sound provocative when I add: it doesn't matter whether you reach the finish line or not.

  Because at the end of a company, a project, a run, there is still the initial question of what, why, how come. I would like to? Why do I do this? These are the questions of all questions. Those about how, when and where are of secondary importance. I come back home, find out the diagnosis and it is clear to me that I now have to work with the four “A’s”.

To accept

The first step in dealing with a setback is to accept it. Everything starts with acceptance. Of course, there are also those analytical moments that want to know why this injury happened and that theorize what might have happened if... But these thoughts at this stage do not bring any added value on the way back.

  I enjoyed the UP in my story 120 percent. And that is right and good. But learning from AB is difficult. Acceptance and acceptance of the circumstances are the prerequisites for learning from mistakes and failures.

  I arrive in Vienna on October 4th and don't know that five days later my running world will collapse. The MRI is merciless, negotiations are hopeless: I suffered a stress fracture in my left fibula, but right now I was thinking that it might be a torn tendon or muscle.

            Is the prospect of not being able to run for six months the end of the world? NO, I tell myself – it’s a new opportunity! A chance to get to know myself better, a chance to develop my personality, a chance to have more time for my business, to read more books, and above all a chance to be there more for my daughter. A chance to see the world around me from one

to see from a different perspective. But how? My emotions explode. I know that the first step in my healing is to accept what happened, allow time for grief, and make space for emotions. Every emotion in us is important, let's listen to it and perceive it! It's completely legitimate to feel depressed and need time to process. But we shouldn't lose ourselves in these feelings: emotions yes, self-pity no! Some people find it helpful to talk to others about these issues; for me, it helps to scream and bang on the cushions in my bedroom. I allow myself to release my anger.

  Acceptance must also be practiced. I'll take the whole of October for this. With lots of UPs and DOWNs. Sometimes I think I've made it, but the emotions keep proving me wrong. And again I practice acceptance, realizing that my everyday life is limited, that I can't walk or run 20,000 steps a day as usual, but that even 5,000 will bring me to the brink of exhaustion. It is important to me not only to accept what happened, but also its consequences - that life needs to be redesigned “afterwards”.

Analyse

After I have accepted the whole “package” – i.e. the setback and its consequences – I am ready for an analysis. I work in a solution-oriented manner. I ask myself a lot of questions and write down the answers. This works more efficiently because the subconscious processes the information better in this way: You become aware of what you can do for yourself in order to take the next steps more successfully. I can create a rough picture of a setback if I honestly ask myself the question: Why did I, or my body, fail in this or that sporting, professional or private situation? Honesty is key; it is the only way we can learn from defeats. So my questions are, for example: What exactly was missing? What went wrong? In which areas is my knowledge of technology, tactics and training incorrect or incomplete? How can these mistakes be avoided? What exactly can be changed? I don't concern myself with external influences because I can't change the environment, competition, opponents or weather.

  When it comes to conclusions, “I have to” or “The others have to” don’t help. The analysis is a very personal, own story, as is the change, and it begins with each individual. Conclusions do not have to be shared with anyone else, and I would like to keep many of the answers that I have found to myself.

  Eines ist mir in der Zwischenzeit klar geworden: Um diesen Rückschlag nicht zu wiederholen, muss ich ein paar „Baustellen“ in meinem Leben weg­arbeiten, und nur wenn ich diese im Griff habe, kann ich von meinem Rückschlag etwas ­lernen.

  As pathetic as it sounds: the factors of your failures are the building blocks of your successes. Think about whether you really recognized her honestly! Remember that analyzing failure is not just about finding shortcomings. In my work with myself, I have focused a lot on my strengths, because these are an important part of what will or can follow a setback. So: What went well in the race? Which strengths came into play? How can I use these strengths in the next training or competition?

  In November and December I took time for analysis and self-reflection. It is a wonderful form of self-help, no matter what area of life we are in. In this self-reflection of mine, I realize once again that running is not the only purpose of life, not my entire life. (But when the sudden withdrawal occurred, I didn't know what to do for a few weeks.) With the help of analysis and self-reflection, I make the decisions that are right for me, even though I am aware that any change is undulating and feels uncomfortable.

  Sometimes I am unsure whether the decision to skip the 2024 competition year is right for me. Insecurity also occurs when I allow other people's voices and opinions to influence me beyond measure. Then I hold on to the fact that while the change in my habits has thrown me out of my rut, I have also given new habits the opportunity to develop: reading books, meditating, spending more time with family , to find new acquaintances and friendships, to look after even more trainees in order to pass on my knowledge.

Tick it off

I can no longer change what happened at Spartathlon, I can't undo this stress fracture: Acceptance! And then analysis to improve, to be better than in the past. When the reasons for the loss, for the failure, are clear, then I am ready for the next step: checking it off! Without self-pity, without complaining. Success is not the same as luck, and a setback is not the same as unhappiness. Success can bring a lot of pressure, success can take away the fun due to increased expectations and obligations. A setback, on the other hand, offers a new opportunity.

  I saw my opportunity to grow clearly before my eyes when I checked off my Spartathlon journey, stood up and was ready to move on. Sure, the sudden changes in my life made me anxious. But with control over my actions and mindset, I have created a new space for myself, a space where I still have room to run, but my priorities are elsewhere now.

  Let me be provocative again. My performance at Spartathlon number three is actually the greatest success of my running career. Because at the end of the day, what is more valuable? Winning the Spartathlon twice or being able to run 50 km with a broken leg? What can I take more with me? Because if I combine looking forward with looking back...

  ... I create new clarity for myself. Personal growth takes on a new dimension, it can be scary not knowing “what will happen next”, but I don’t forget that success requires a lot of work, dedication and perseverance. And failure is part of this “bouquet of passion”.

Getting UP

I'm curious about the new things, about what's coming up. I can't wait to feel the passion for my actions, be it running, be it my work with other athletes, be it just being able to enjoy the world in a healthy way! Or could it be the thought of walking from Athens to Sparta again in five or ten years.

            Schon im Dezember konnte ich wieder knapp 100 km beim Laufen sammeln. Im Jänner 172 km und im Februar gut über 220 km. Wie geht es so schnell, einen Ermüdungsbruch zu heilen? Ganz einfach – mit dem richtigen Therapeuten, mit richtigem Mindset, viel Mediationen, sowie Tools wie zum Beispiel Gefäßtherapie nach BEMER, die den Körper bei Regenerationsprozessen durch die Stimulation der Mikrozirkulation unterstützt.